This is the transcript for the Two-Bit episode Sweetie.
| The Sheriff is seen hammering a outhouse he had just built | |
| The Sheriff | Whew! (Wipes brow) Done and done. Time for lunch. |
| The Sheriff walks over to a tool box, and starts dig rummage through it until he takes out a pink cupcake | |
| The Sheriff | Hmmm hmmm! |
| Strange giggling noises | |
| The Sheriff | (The Sheriff says quickly) Hold on a second who said that! |
| Mysterious voice | Over here silly. |
| The Sheriff looks at the cupcake | |
| Sweetie | Hi, I am Sweetie. |
| The Sheriff | Aww. |
| Swweetie | (Sweetie jumps) Eat me! |
| The Sheriff | (Surprised) Excuse me? |
| Sweetie | Eat me! |
| The Sheriff | Ummm. That seems a little weird. |
| Sweetie | (jumps again) Eat meee! |
| The Sheriff | No, I ain't going to eat you! |
| Sweetie | Come on mister. (jumps again) Eat me. |
| The Sheriff | (Turns head away from Sweetie) No way! |
| Sweetie | (becomes upset) Eat me! Eat me! Eat me! Eat me! (Closes eyes) Eat me! Eat me! Eat me! |
| The Sheriff | (Opens eyes) Okay fine! |
| The Sheriff takes a bite out of Sweetie | |
| Sweetie | (Jumps in pain) Oh my! Dear God why! Why would you (Sweetie jumps again) eat me! |
| The Sheriff | (Mouth full) But, but, eh, but! (Farts) Oh no! |
| Sheriff throws Sweetie behind him, and runs for the outhouse. He then enters and closes the door. We can hear straining noises until a ding noise is heard | |
| The Sheriff | (opens outhouse door holding his stomach) Oh man. |
| Mysterious Voice | Psst, (Sheriff jumps) down here. |
| The Sheriff turns around to see a poop with a face in the toilet | |
| Poop | (Jumps) Flush me! |
| The Sheriff | I definitely need to start going to a new grocery store. |
| Two-Bit logo appears, and then the screen goes black. |