"The town is facing certain doom, and only one man can save it! The Sheriff! He quickly leaps into action, but will he be victorious? I don't want to spoil it, but let's just say he gets a couple of lumps."
―YouTube Description
One Lump or Two is the pilot episode of Two-Bit.


At the Sheriff's office, the Sheriff is snoozing away. Suddenly, a beaver arrives, and tells the Sheriff that a notorious outlaw named Malignant Mel is in town and is terrorizing everyone. The Sheriff decides to investigate, so he jumps onto an oversized snail named Mercury so he can get to town. However, the snail's slow speed impedes him from getting to town, so he decides to run to town.

In the town, the outlaw is seen snoozing in the middle of town, and despite doing no harmful actions, the entire town is running around in fear. A kangaroo named Earl commits suicide to find his lover (despite the fact that she's standing right next to him). The Sheriff arives, and is out of breath. The beaver then tells him could have drove to town. The camera goes back to the Sheriff's office, to reveal a police car parked right in plain sight next to Mercury. Because of this, he yells out "Dang it!" At that moment, the outlaw wakes up, and says hi to the Sheriff, where he [Sheriff] accidentally shoots him. Upon closer inspection, the outlaw turns out to be Malignant Mel's brother, Benign Benny.

At that moment, the actual Malignant Mel arrives and asks where his brother is. The Sheriff tries to not give answer, when suddenly, Mel is shot. The Sheriff turns around and realizes that the beaver shot him.


The Sheriff
The Beaver
Benign Benny
Malignant Mel


  1. Earl commits suicide by shooting himself in the head.
  2. Benign Benny is accidentally shot by the Sheriff.
  3. Malignant Mel is killed by the beaver.



  • Running gag: Every time the Sheriff makes a mistake, he cries out "Dang it!".